- I really superhate video games.
- Happy Independence Day!
- I did my first 10-mile training walk!
- I may take my Salomons back, because my Nikes were so good to me.
- Here are some ducks:
It’s a hermit day. So much trouble in this world.
So raise a glass to turnings of the season
And watch it as it arcs towards the sun
And you must bear your neighbor’s burden within reason
And your labors will be borne when all is done
And nobody, nobody knows
Let the yoke fall from our shoulders
Don’t carry it all don’t carry it all
We are all our hands in holders
Beneath this bold and brilliant sun
What a great weekend this has been so far! Spent all day yesterday with my sister and brother in law, celebrating her birthday – while not mentioning which one it was. (40 – ahh!)
Jellyrolls last night – man I love that place. It was a super nostalgia sort of night, but in the happy way.
Woke up to this view:
Current set of worries about my upcoming Camino Frances:
I’m still (of course) stupid excited about going, and I’m praying that my mind will settle once we start walking. That’s my hope, at least. Clear skies, clear mind.❤
Alright so I just updated my About section on here, because I felt like it was time – that picture is super old. While updating, I realized that I have been blogging for nearly TEN YEARS. TEN! These have been the ten most trying years of my life, I think. And I love that in some way, shape or form, they’re documented. I’m not proud of everything – far from it – but it’s there. Sometimes just pictures, or videos, or songs (lawd, tons of songs.) There’s something comforting about going back and seeing growth and maybe even a little wisdom seeping in over the years. Tons of cringing too, ugh.
Anyhoo. My blog brain has been renewed. I no longer feel as if I’m writing for someone else to see. It’s just me here, and really I just want to have something to measure by.
Now I’m gonna go to Disney and help my sister celebrate her 40th birthday, a little late.
I’m a big picture person. Always have been. Considering my so far 6 year stint as a trivia host, it’s a little funny. Details don’t really stick in my head. I remember feelings, and faces, and gists of things. In some ways, this serves me very well. I have the ability to forgive easily, because truthfully I just don’t recall the wrongs done to me. (Don’t worry, my mom reminds me, she remembers EVERYTHING.) So basically, if my overall impression of someone is positive, then that’s what sticks with me. In the long run, this helps me to remain generally happy. Here’s the thing, though. By not remembering less-than-savory actions/intentions of others, I romanticize. I get stuck – and I am completely aware of it when I do it. (You’ve seen the god-awful posts.) There are those few people who, if I really thought about it, I would realize that they didn’t have my interests in mind, but that damn overall impression is so good that I forgive it — well, not necessarily forgive it, but I just don’t think of their shortcomings at all. Only that delightful, fluffy, warm fuzzy kind of feeling they gave me. The older I get, the more I realize how damaging it is, and I have to force myself to come out of the old and fully come into the new. Someone who cares about you doesn’t hurt you on purpose. End of story. And a relationship like that doesn’t deserve fond memories, or a place in my brain.
So this is where I’ve been. Stuck remembering things as good when, in fact, they were just built on lies and pretend lives and some weird need to be paid attention to. I’ve written about it before but I’m sick of thinking about it. I need some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of shit, lol. If I’m being honest, that’s what I’m really looking for in my September Camino – the ability to see things as they really are and MOVE ON. My brain surprises and disappoints me with its inability to do this. I need a bigger experience to dwell on. I’m ready for Autumn.❤
Sometimes you’re Summer, sometimes you’re Tom.