2016

A poem and a song

I will post about the Camino eventually. I have so many thoughts about it that it’s still hard to process, even though I’ve been home for nearly 2 months. I did it, and it was simultaneously the most difficult and most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. (Besides having my babies, of course.) One day when I have time and clarity I’ll write more about it.

In the meantime, here is a poem. And a song by a favorite. ❤

I Will Greet the Sun Again

I will greet the sun again
and the little river that once ran in me
and the clouds that were my ruminations
and the aching blooms of the poplar trees,
my companions in those seasons of drought.

I will greet the crowd of crows again,
who brought me their rich perfumes,
gifts from the gardens of night,
and my mother who lived in the mirror
and whose shape was my own in old age.

I will greet the earth again,
who in her lust to create me again,
fills her fiery belly with seeds of green.

I am coming, I am coming, I will come again,
with my long hair dripping the scent of the dirt,
with my eyes inflicting the density of darkness,
with brambles I’ve picked from the far side of the wall.

I am coming, I am coming, I will come again,
and the doorway will once more be filled with love
and I’ll greet the lovers standing in the doorway,
and the little girl there,
still standing in love.

-Forough Farrokhzad

2016 · blergblog · Lord Huron · mind blurbs · vids

Searching for a new happy medium

Whoa whoa whoa – can you say post-vacation letdown? Emo alert on that last post. Sorry folks, welcome to my world. It’s a little weird.

Anyhoo, it is definitely time to get out of my own head. There are many many things to do around here. So far, the plans for next year have gone from deciding that we will not be doing a family vacation because of my Camino to HEY LET’S DO EVERYTHING IN 2016.

Where we were:       September 2016: Camino
Where we are now:   December 2015: Move to a house
March 2016: 5 Day Cruise for Lolly’s 40th birthday
June 2016: Spend a week in St George Island with the fam
September/October 2016: Dad and I go to Spain

There may be just a little stress involved there. Maybe. I mean, it’s great, and I’m thankful. But it’s overwhelming, especially since I’m only working part time now. Correction: VERY part time. I’d love to get something else, but then it interferes with real life too much and just ends up being a hassle for very little $$ return. Repeat: I’m thankful. It’s not a terrible problem to have, and I know that. But I’m starting to feel a little useless, and I don’t like that.

I read a little article yesterday (you can find it here) that basically explained the worst possible life circumstance for each Myers-Briggs personality type. I’m an ENFP, which is no surprise, and here’s what mine said:

ENFP – Every minute of the rest of your life has been scheduled for you – and it’s a long series of arbitrary, solitary tasks.

Note to self: Don’t let this happen. I hate ruts and every emotion that goes with them. Trouble is, I find myself in them pretty easily. Why would I be drawn to the situation that would hurt me the most?  Lord, I’ve asked myself that question before.

But I digress. Again.
The point here is that I’m going to have to get outside more, meet new people, and stop being at home so much. I can’t expect The Universe to give me opportunities if I don’t go out into it.

Is that the point? Hell, I don’t know. Thank goodness I’m the only one who reads this thing.