“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am typically an open book type person. People in my life tend to know exactly what’s going on with me – good, bad, or ugly. I have found that the bad and ugly things make for the best stories, especially when told with a good dose of humor. There are very few things that I refuse to talk about. I think learning more about each other and our struggles makes us better people, generally, and helps us to know that we’re all in this together.
That being said, I think I’ll keep my whole Camino conversation confined to this blog and the Camino de Santiago forum. There’s a strange feeling I have about it — I want to talk about it ALL THE TIME, but it’s also intensely personal to me, and I have difficulty when folks are less than supportive, or don’t understand it. Last night at trivia I spoke to one of my regulars about it, and about halfway through, I could tell by the look on his face that he either a) thought it was a terrible idea, or b) figured this was a silly phase I was going through, and I’d be over it in a few days. My reaction about sharing this with him:
Lesson learned. I’ll talk to family and very close friends about it, who understand this strange calling/compulsion I have to take this journey. That will be good enough. I’ll fight the urge to make my whole camino about my ego and proving the naysayers wrong. Struggle alert! See y’all later. 🙂
PS If any other Camino folks are reading this, and can identify, pop a comment down there. I’d appreciate it. ❤
I love my job. All day I help ladies feel good about themselves, make them up for special occasions, help them take care of their skin, all while enjoying the thrill of a sale. The people I work with are a joy, for the most part, and we all help each other out whenever possible. But I’m leaving. The 29th of August will be my last day there, mainly because I have an hour to drive, there and back, daily. The gas money is killing me, and with Abby starting college on the 25th, I need some more $$$.
So the next logical thing to assume would be that I have a job all lined up, right? Nope. Shawn has said, “take your time, find the perfect thing,” so I’ve lined up some volunteer work at the closest St Vincent de Paul food pantry/thrift shop and we’ll just see what happens from there. I’ve already started thinking that The Camino Will Provide. I really do feel as if I’ve already started it. Now, at this point in a conversation, my mother would start to worry that I was going to sit on my laurels and mooch off of Shawn while my head is in the clouds/on the Camino. Not happening! I’ll likely pick up another trivia and do some other things until I find something I enjoy that’s a little closer to home.
So, it’s safe to say that I’m slightly obsessed with the Camino. I don’t want to flood twitter or facebook feeds with endless posts, so I’ll do it here.
Yesterday I joined up with the local American Pilgrims on Camino (APOC) group, and can’t wait to get involved and start really talking with people who have done it. At this point I think I could talk (or listen, or read) about it all day and never tire. I’m even getting up early in the morning before work to get more reading done. Obsessed, I tell ya! I wish I could buy my plane ticket to France now, just to be sure that it happens. Part of me worries that my excitement will taper. This can’t end up one of those things that I only talk about, it just can’t. I refuse to wait til I’m old to live.
Kate showed me a song yesterday. It’s wonderful, so I’m gonna show you. Yes, it’s going on my Camino playlist. I think I have a playlist problem. 🙂
My book came today! The Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago — from what I’ve read, it’s the holy grail of guide books, and just about every peregrino on the Camino has used it to help guide them along the way. It looks too new to me, I can’t wait til it’s all beaten up and has been loved a little.
Tonight I find myself worrying about other people. In the insecure way, not the sweet way. Seeing the little tiny bit of traffic to my blog, and thinking about if other people will mock me for my passion to do this. (I know that’s not a complete sentence, but I’m not necessarily thinking in complete sentences at the moment.) I could start a new blog, but the last 8 years of my life have been documented here, in fits and spurts. I don’t want to fit and spurt anywhere else – Sha-pow and I have a history. So it will be done here, mocked or not, and I will choose not to think about what others think of my thoughts. So there.
…and because I’m having a glass of wine and listening to music, I’ll share the first song in my Camino playlist. I heard it for the first time today and it’s just perfect. Here ya go –
I’m shooting for September 2016. Solo. 500 miles from the Pyrenees to Santiago de Compostela, and then on to Finisterre, aka The End of the World. I have lots of research and lots of training to do, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt compelled to do anything the way I feel drawn to do this.
El Camino de Santiago, in English “The Way of Saint James,” is the pilgrimage to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain, where legend has it that the remains of Jesus’s apostle Saint James the Elder lie. The Camino has existed as a Christian pilgrimage for well over 1,000 years, and there is evidence of a pre-Christian route as well. Throughout the medieval period it was one of the three most important Christian pilgrimages undertaken. Indeed, it was only these pilgrimages—to Jerusalem, to Rome, and to Santiago de Compostela—which could result in a plenary indulgence, which frees a person from the penance due for sins.
Am I called to this for penance for sins? Maybe. Am I called to this for the adventure? For the proof of independence..or the the acknowledgement of dependence on God? Maybe.
They say that one finds answers on the Camino. I’m hoping to find the questions too.