Adventure. We’re all looking for it, aren’t we? Well, except for those fortunate few who find contentment in routine, who somehow have all they want without any searching at all. I feel like most of my life there has been something in me, shouting, “Change! Change!” The moment I see a schedule coming, I buck it, scared to death of a rut. It seems to me to be the worst thing in the world, a rut. Rut. Rut. The word itself is just unlikable, isn’t it?
Yuck. A long deep track that you get stuck in if you stay in it for too long. FRIGHTENING.
Back to adventure. That’s a much better word, yes? Yes.
It occurred to me last night, in the slippery almost-asleep part of the evening, that Adventure is not the same thing as Chaos. I know, you probably realized this ages ago, but to me it was a revelation. I’ve been confusing the two for so long – sabotaging relationships and jobs because they just felt too comfortable, too easy. The fear of becoming ordinary, being stuck, kept me from honing skills and becoming competent at one thing. Schedule and routine can actually make Adventure much more attainable, and, (I guess I’ll admit it) maybe it really is an important part of the process. Life doesn’t have to be chaotic and emotional in order to be fantastic.
I will forever choose Adventure. It’s in my soul to do that. From now on, though, I think I’ll choose it from a place of peace.