Call me old-fashioned. I still say good-night prayers with the girls every night before they go to bed. Actually, I just hold their hands and listen to what they have to offer up. BethyGirl1 has had the same prayer since she learned to talk, basically, always ending with, “and thank you for the food. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
About 2 weeks ago, BethyGirl1 balked a little when I came to say prayers, and informed me that she would rather say it to herself. I assumed that part of it was growing up stuff, and part of it was that she didn’t want her sister to hear her. Last night, she slept downstairs, (the a/c is out, and it’s cooler) so I thought perhaps she’d want to say them together. Sister was out of earshot, and we had had a particularly snuggly happy day. I asked, and instantly noticed a funny look on her face.
me: “You want to say prayers tonight?”
BethyGirl1: *scrunched up, worried face*
me: “hmm what’s up? is there a reason you don’t want to say them?”
BethyGirl1: “well, it’s just hard because you and dad believe different things…”
And there you have it. If you know me at all, you know how that cuts to the quick.
I did the right thing, and told her that I knew it was confusing for her, etc etc. I’ve had enough classes to know what to say and what not to say. I did make sure that she knew that God could hear my prayers too, and she acknowledged that, yes, she did believe that. I didn’t want to pressure her, because I knew she felt funny about it. I asked her to think about her reasons, if she didn’t mind, and let me know if she came up with any concrete feelings on why she didn’t feel comfortable anymore. She said she would, and we left it at that. She knows it concerns me, but I’m glad that she told me how she felt.
The problem is, what do I do? It breaks my heart.