Home from work today… watching wedding disasters on Lifetime, seriously craving some ahi tuna, and reading Sara Teasdale. Ahh… just what I needed. I came across a few poems that really hit home to me, and especially relate to my life these past few years. (Yet another blog that will have no significance to anyone but me…. but so be it.) Thought I’d share.
“Leaves” represents so much to me. Many years of trying to be someone that I am not… the leaves to me represent friendships that I absolutely had to release in order to live life the way it should be led. Sometimes those relationships keep us from seeing all that life has to offer, and once we release the fear of losing those ties, we’re able to trust ourselves and our consciences. So much of this poem relates to my c of c experiences.
One by one, like leaves from a tree,
All my faiths have forsaken me;
But the stars above my head
Burn in white and delicate red,
And beneath my feet the earth
Brings the sturdy grass to birth.
I who was content to be
But a silken-singing tree,
But a rustle of delight
In the wistful heart of night–
I have lost the leaves that knew
Touch of rain and weight of dew.
Blinded by a leafy crown
I looked neither up nor down–
But the little leaves that die
Have left me room to see the sky;
Now for the first time I know
Stars above and earth below.
And the flip side of the coin. Some relationships, incredibly, refuse to fade with time… the ones that don’t simply allow us to be who we are, they revel and encourage us to discover more of ourselves, and make us better. I am incredibly grateful that I have seen both sides of this coin, so that I can appreciate it all the more. I wouldn’t trade the loneliness; without it I wouldn’t have recognized true love. If one day it’s gone, at least I’ll have known that it exists.
There never was a mood of mine,
Gay or heart-broken, luminous or dull,
But you could ease me of its fever
And give it back to me more beautiful.
In many another soul I broke the bread,
And drank the wine and played the happy guest,
But I was lonely, I remembered you;
The heart belongs to him who knew it best.