I knew better, but I read it anyway…

Ya know, grr at me.
I should know better. I don’t need to stalk anymore. But nooo, my stupid curiosity wins every time, and I can’t help it. I read it. Knew it was there, have known, and had successfully avoided it. Until today. Why why why? Ugh.

So now, I get to walk around with his emotions in my head. Which equals questions in mine. Am I a consolation prize after all? Second choice?

I am better than that. Than questioning my worth in someone else’s eyes. It’s nothing he’s done, he didn’t put the questions there. My search for insight, for, somehow, proof that I am better than she was, has gotten me again. And I don’t know what to do about it, because you know I’m not going to forget what I read. hell, what I bookmarked for further torture.

Wish I hadn’t.