Sometimes friends let you down.

Sometimes you let them down. 

Sometimes you just have to decide if your pride is more important than a friendship. 

Sometimes it is. 

Sometimes it isn’t.

Sometimes it is — but just for a little while. And you finally get over it, and your panties de-bunch. 

Then you have to do something about it. 

 

My overly dramatic, self indulgent poem of the day.

Solitude

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it’s mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

– Ella Wheeler Wilcox

if you are defending me against all the terrible things they’re surely saying. I have defended you.

To Lolly, just now.

“Maybe I’ll be the cat lady.  But at least I’ll have stories and can warn my grandchildren about all my mistakes.”

Going through old myspace blogs today, I came across an old post that helped me out a great deal 6 years ago. Thought I’d share.

This article had a really big impact on me several years ago. I’ve read it over and over.  It’s still floating around in the Oprah Mag archives, but I felt the need to post it somewhere else so I’d always know where to find it.  Maybe it’ll help some other poor lost soul as well.  Joy is waiting.

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but how do you know when the time is right?

Psychologist Judith Sills helps you check the vital signs.

A relationship is destructive if it feels scary, cold, or flat-out unfriendly—and you’re staying because you dream it will change or because “it’s better than being alone.” If tension has hardened into contempt, admit it: This isn’t better than being alone. This is being alone but with a lead weight on your back.

If you don’t have a strong intuition to light your way, how do you know when the not-so-great-but-maybe-good-enough relationship is kaput? The answer lies in what you want and need, in the compromises with which you choose to live, and in the hard choices you’re able to make. You answer the tough questions by knowing yourself, acknowledging your obligations, and living by your values.

Sure, you’ll want to discuss these issues with him, but his responses are just one source of information. Your best decision will come from looking as deeply into yourself as you do the relationship.

Examine your history. If you usually want to back out at this point, you may need to stay longer and risk coming closer.

When you see your part, and you’re either unwilling or unable to do what is necessary to improve things, or if your efforts are insufficient and he’s not able to make up the difference, you know the romance is dead. Leave? Well, maybe.

If you have children the obligation to provide them with the stable scaffolding they need to become solid grown-ups with rocky romances of their own may mean that you’ll never openly declare this union over and gone. Your decision to go or stay will reflect your core beliefs about parenting, money, family, social status, a permanent New Year’s Eve date, and all those other difficult issues that we iced over with the buttercream of being in love.

If you decide to cut your losses, I suggest you create a vivid, positive vision for your future. See it, say it, meditate on it, write it down, flash on it at every red light. When you catch yourself thinking you’re too old, too poor, too weak, or too needy to make a change, laugh in your own face.

Letting go hurts. But staying, once you’ve decided the relationship is really over, means being buried alive. Face your decision with courage, kindness, and a galloping leap of faith. Joy is waiting.

–> –> –> –>Excerpted from the March 2004 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

 

Shel Silverstein’s The Missing Piece

…and The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

ok…almost everything. xx

*edit* so you can’t watch them on the site…you have to go to youtube. thanks a lot, Sony. ‘Preciate it.

*another edit* — fixed it! now you can watch them here.